I was sitting reading by a big picture window on Saturday when a Downy Woodpecker hit the window with a loud slam. The Downey’s are the smallest of the Woodpecker family in North America.
I went out on the deck and the little bird was breathing heavily and writhing. I was at a loss at what to do. I did not want to frighten it further by rushing to its side. I tried to send it healing thoughts of love and compassion, but quickly it turned over a few times and died.
I was saddened by the visual experience of this little creature whose life just ended in front of me. I picked up the lifeless, but still warm bird. It was so soft and light, just ounces of weight.
My heart ached for this loss of a life force as I disposed of the little one with a private prayer and the unanswerable question of why.
A few hours later I killed an ant crawling on the kitchen counter. The second I did so I felt a questioning remorse.
Was the bird’s life and my sadness at its ending more sacred than the life of the ant? Why did I not feel sadness for the ant especially after my experience with the Downy Woodpecker?
These are questions we all need to ask ourselves as we go through the emotional experiences of conscious choice.
One ending I witnessed and the other I caused. The dichotomy of sensitive emotion is troubling.
I went out on the deck and the little bird was breathing heavily and writhing. I was at a loss at what to do. I did not want to frighten it further by rushing to its side. I tried to send it healing thoughts of love and compassion, but quickly it turned over a few times and died.
I was saddened by the visual experience of this little creature whose life just ended in front of me. I picked up the lifeless, but still warm bird. It was so soft and light, just ounces of weight.
My heart ached for this loss of a life force as I disposed of the little one with a private prayer and the unanswerable question of why.
A few hours later I killed an ant crawling on the kitchen counter. The second I did so I felt a questioning remorse.
Was the bird’s life and my sadness at its ending more sacred than the life of the ant? Why did I not feel sadness for the ant especially after my experience with the Downy Woodpecker?
These are questions we all need to ask ourselves as we go through the emotional experiences of conscious choice.
One ending I witnessed and the other I caused. The dichotomy of sensitive emotion is troubling.
1 comment:
We really get put to the test on this as pet owners, dogs especially. Dogs have a special place in our heart and in most cases we eventually are faced with deciding if their life should mercifully end. I've cried like a baby every time we've put a dog down. But I can attest that it's procedure that brings them peace. It is what it is.
Now, back to birds and bugs. I think size has some thing to do with it. I will never understand the mind of a trophy hunter. I could never squeeze the trigger taking the life of another mammal. Insects are a different story; most are pests but again, size still matters. A praying mantis will be given a cardboard ride out of the house but flies, spiders, mosquitoes and ants had better run or fly for their lives!
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