Manners

I was on the train heading into New York City the other day and there was this middle age woman sitting three seats behind me. The train was not crowded because this was the origination of the trip. It was just her and me and two other guys several seats beyond me who were in conversation and not aware of anything else in the train car.

I sat down and she got on her cell phone. She was loud and her language was foul enough so that I turned around and looked at her in surprise and disgust. Nothing.

She glanced at me and continued with her telephone tirade.

I got up and moved to a different train car. She had to know that she was loud and she was offensive, but it made no difference in her telephone conversation. I wondered if she were just ignorant of social courtesies or a rude woman who did not care where or what she said or who heard her.

Even at my age I am still saddened by the lack of social amenities and personal grace in America. Where and when did we lose it? I know the sixties were a bit avant-garde, but not to this extent of common place crude and rude.

In our society we always look for someone to blame. I nominate the parents. If we don't teach our children the decorum of social living, the courtesies of interaction, how to be polite and what polite means and the mores of manners then we will get the opposite of what we fail to teach.

I'm talking about the little things too not-just language. How to hold a fork and knife. Where do they go next to the plate? Don't talk with your mouth full and don't open your mouth when you chew or smack your lips. How about holding a chair for a lady and other gentlemanly courtesies like walking on the outside of the sidewalk or saying please and thank you and your welcome, instead of "no problem."

Our society is fast approaching the critical point of not remembering what courtesy is or what etiquette is. Those of us who do remember need to be the evidence of our knowing.

I wouldn’t know how to re-educate that lady, but I have to believe that deep inside her being she knows what’s right and wrong. We all do.